"Elias Nebula is practicing Japanese but no one knows."

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Apocalypse Gulcher (Open Letter to Laurence Remila)

Laurence - - - - -
I went to the Book Expo at the Javits Centre - you know, scrabbling around for free comics - THAT IS I MEAN I went picking up copies of the university press catalogues - - - to see what is forthcoming in my field - -

any-way you wudda laughed, because there was Adam Parfrey in the Feral House booth. The funny thing is he looked uncannily like Roger Cardinal. Has anyone spotted this before? Probably not. It's like my theory that whutzizname - Frodo Baggins - looks like Tatsuya Nakadai. Nobody cares except me.
Who shall attest to it, and I die?

Anyway I goe to Adam Parfrey, "SSSSSSOOOO... you still see Boyd Rice about town ever?" (This is my greeting to strangers everywhere, actually: Do you run into old BOYD?)
He says, Yesss... I goe, What whenddyou last see him? Like I'm in the CIA or something. Whuttzis last known address? Is he still shaving his head or has he acquired a toupee? As if to say, This man is wanted in four states for impersonating Nick Cave.

This man has brought Satanism into disrepute.

Heh... no... but... Parfrey's freebie giveaways were packets of poppy seeds, and he goes, Have a poppy seed on me.
I said, feh - I don't have a garden.

I beg your pardon...
I never promised you a rose garden...

I don't know if the grow-your-own-poppies thing is an allusion to heroin or not or if it is straight up and rather sweet horticulturalism. P____ says to him here, were these grown in Afghanistan? and laughed. He squinted and leaned forward and said, What? Were these grown in Afghanistan?
I thought they only grew them in Afghanistan...
I was counselling her, no, they grow poppies in Cromer too.

I feel like last time I was at the expo (LA) Feral House was giving out seeds then too.
Tomato seeds I believe.

Back to the matter at hand, I then goe - in my now standard and familiar way of imposing on strangers - Meh. Uh, did you ever read Lisa Carver's book?
He goes Lisa...?... oh Lisa CARVER. No, I heard about it I didn't read it.
I said, Boyd Rice doesn't come out so well in that...
He reflected on that one and said, Well Lisa knew what she was getting into. She dated G.G. Allin...
Here the woman on the booth with Parfrey goes, Who dated G.G. Allin?!
I, being a scholarly pedant go, Well I don't know if you can strictly call it dating what they did...
Parfrey was saying, in essence, As ye sow so shall ye reap and I can't really fault that at this stage of my life. It's in the Bible. "Words to Live By." What G.G. - or Napoleon Hill indeed - probably would have called "The Golden Rule."

Speaking of whom, Parfrey says he has a bunch of letters from G.G. from when he was in jail that he is going to publish sensationally in his new autobiography; and he hands me a postcard. I said, "I used to e-mail Mykel Board for a while. Wanna trade?"
Would you like to exclusively publish my e-mail correspondence with Mykel Board, yes or no?
That was in 1994. Imagine; I've been e-mailing for fifteen miserable years.

I said, summing up, "Anyway: G.G, Boyd and Lisa they gave us lotsa great records that we listen to oftentimes to this day didn't they all of them?"

I could have stuck around and rapped some more...
("So... how's Crispin Glover?")
("Wanna buy a pristine unplayed Tards ten inch on Sympathy?")
...But amazingly I knew my cue - for once - and beat it, with postcards but sans poppy seeds. .
Anyway buddy I thought thisd MAKE YOU LAUGH.
I think we all need to laugh now and then and you more than most.
All right - speak to you in another year I guess - - -


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